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"Should parents read their daughter's texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

daeranilen:

daeranilen:

Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.

I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”

Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.

Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.

It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.

It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.

Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:

Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.

Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.

Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.

Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”

TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:

  1. You do not respect their rights as an individual.
  2. You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
  3. You probably haven’t been listening to them.

Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.

anarcho-queer:

Pregnant Woman Put In Choke Hold By NYPD Officer For Illegal Grilling

July 29th, 2014

Less than a week ago Eric Garner was laid to rest after dying from being placed in an illegal chokehold by Staten Island police, and now it looks as if the NYPD has once again, broken the rules.

Their reasoning? Allegedly grilling illegally outside.

Captured on a cell phone video, 27-year-old Rosan Miller is noticeably pregnant, but that doesn’t stop the NYPD from placing the woman in what looks like a chokehold.

Photos released Monday by an East New York advocacy group show Rosan Miller, 27, struggling with a cop who appears to have his arm around her neck.

The NYPD prohibits the use of chokeholds.

Officers went to the home over the weekend because Miller was grilling on a public sidewalk in violation of local law, cops said. But a melee broke out that ended with her, her brother and husband all in handcuffs.

The brother, John Miller, was charged with harassment and obstruction of justice. Her husband, Moses Miller, 34, was charged with resisting arrest and obstruction. Rosan Miller got a summons for disorderly conduct.

Barron pointed out that the woman’s daughter can be seen in the photo watching her mother being choked and arrested.

This is the third incident of the NYPD using an illegal choke hold to make the news this month. On July 14th, NYC officers beat and choked a 22 year old black male for entering the subway through an exit gate.

Three days later, an officer choked Eric Garner to death after he broken up a fight. The officers claimed he was selling untaxed cigarettes but it was later revealed he had none in his possession.

Related: NYPD Officer Draws Gun And Stomps On Man’s Head In Bed Stuy

fyeahcracker:

white people: don’t blame us for our ancestors! i’m not responsible for those white people or what they did just because we’re the same color!

same white people: look at all these inventions you poc wouldn’t have without white people! i didn’t invent any of it but i’ma take responsibility for these ancestors just based on being the same skin color!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

igni-ferroque:

do you ever step back & reevaluate your life

& all the harmful shit you internalized

like concepts of virginity, beauty, healthy relationships, sexual attraction, mental health, & what “being successful” actually entails?

& you realized how much healthier you’d be right now if someone actually fuckin’ talked to you about this toxic shit instead of throwing you into a perpetual pit of self-loathing that you have to claw your way out of?

just…fuck, man

(Source: bitchfacebear)

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